Sometimes its important for the boys to get together. This weekend was one of those events. From its outset it was always going to be a retox weekend, blasting away the vestiges of purified water, organic produce and fitness regimes, and letting us get back to our more basal levels.

Al, James, Joe and myself, all headed north, a 4 hour drive to seal rocks, via Newcastle and a very important pilgrimage to a bottle shop ? a case of cascade premium, a case of corona and a bottle of Yagermeister.

We arrived, and found our holiday rental accommodation, a multi room palace on the beach. Sensational. And kicked into our first beers. With ooos and ahhs it went down a treat. We marvelled for awhile at the lush surroundings, before Al spotted a Monsteria outside. He looked at it with some surprise before stating ?Wow I didn?t know they grew outside.? Just goes to show what two years doing Botany at University can do to a man.

We drank, and disturbingly quickly, punctuated with a few therapeutic shots of Yagermeister (to ward away the chill of course) before our growling bellies led us to think of food. When four men get together each with a vegetarian girlfriend (It freaked us out as well) and it becomes time to eat? it can only mean one thing?. MEAT.

The barbeque was fired, and was soon sizzling an assortment of red fleshy treats for our delectation. It was a meatfest, a true testosterone fuelled affair where bread is considered for all intents and purposes a vegetable.

Naturally dessert followed ? yagermeister, the sun set and we set upon a ?brilliant?plan to check out the lighthouse.

James and I walked down a cliff. It seemed perfectly logical at the time, illuminated sporadically by the glow from a mobile phone, whilst balancing a beer in the other hand. Some leaps of faith, and delicate manoeuvring got us down, then onto a road and into what can only be described as a pitch black forest.

With shouts of ?where are you, oi, ouch, and Ahh shit what was that we stumbled? above our heads every now and then the glow from the lighthouse, until finally in a cleared area we saw it.

I felt like I was in ancient times, a villager travelling the great distance to see the lighthouse of Alexandria ? one of the seven ancient wonders. This light house is cool. It stood tall, bright, and its beams ? 8 of them, each moving as a solid beam sweeping the horizon. We wowed for a bit before heading up to its base.

We stood at its base, under the umbrella of light, something out of blade runner, before we made a startling discovery. Hidden away behind a shed, we discovered a gigantic 2 storey ladder.

Yagermeister is a fabulous drink, it allows for totally stupid actions to seem not only sensible, but imperative. With the bullet proof invulnerability we tried to get the ladder up. It took all of us to even hold it upright, this giant cantilevering lump of aluminium. It wavered about, we dropped it loudly a few times before managing to get it up to the side of the lighthouse. Joe started to climb while we held? until halfway up it all started to go slightly pear shaped. We had the ladder up almost vertical, and it kept tipping off the wall. We hurried Joe down, and then moments later dropped the ladder. A lucky escape!

We giggled stupidly, then noticed that we had some company, a young couple obviously come up for a special moment under the light house? only to discover 4 yobs trying to climb it.

More beer. Stumbled home. Awoke the next day in my clothes.

It was another Bbq meatfest for breakfast. A sluggish day, featuring well, a whole lot of sweet FA, before a drive home, and a token McD?s to really retox it up.

I think we are onto a winner here, and we will be looking to open Retox clinics all over Australia. Our experienced consultants will guide you through a very intense retox process, leaving you scarred and haggard for days to come. Franchise applications can be sent via email :D

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