I left kathmandu, and took my Thai airways flight to Bangkok, a 3 hours away. The normal friendliness of the hostesses was marred by one miserable bitch who happened to be serving on my aisle. Dammit. In forgiveness though Thai airways do let me listen to my ipod through takeoff and landing.

The plane came into Bangkok, its presence announced well in advance by the thick brown smear of smog filling the atmosphere. The setting sun burnt big and bright and red through it, and preventing the sight of land until we were almost right on top of it.

A smooth landing and we coasted along the runway, whilst other planes took off on the other runway running parallel. As we turned, to cross the other runway and head to the terminal I noticed something curious... two cars, not of airport livery were stopped behind a boomgate with a big red light saying "Stop, (theres a fuck off jumbo crossing). My gaze lifted to what appeared to be a circula, flat green grassed area. Upwards more I cast, seeing a little flag fluttering in the wind, a small hole... and two men pulling around with them golf carts. I totally blew out, who puts a golf course BETWEEN two runways on an international airport?? Fore... oh shit, I just hit a jumbo. Only in Thailand.

Bangkok explodes on the senses, especially after the comparitive lullaby scene of Kathmandu. Whizzign ten lane highways with taxis, buses and tuk tuks racing about in a human recreation of a detonation hydrogen bomb. Skyscrapers and neon carve out their image on the skyline, and temples (wats) add their unique architectural touch as well.

Yet between the big brands fighting for billboard space, the flashing neon and traffic mayhem, Bangkok shows another side... along every river and all the back alleys there lies a quiet little village, of shanty style huts, fishing, and little street side eateries. Its a dichotomy of fast paced asian living, somehow blended with the old school traditions of village life.

I arrived in Khao San road, first stop on the backpacker circuit in Bangkok, brightlights, tourists, a throng of people. I found a hotel and then wandered around. Every town has a different type of tout, the ones in Bangkok have their own little catchphrase..."Taxi? Tuk Tuk? Massage... Boom Boom?" The food is awesoem. Little street side eateries are everywhere, from pad thai to deep fried scorpions!!! Intriguing, I am itching for one of these!

I ate some fish curry, and laced it with more chilli. It was hot. Really hot. I did the Chilli Orangutan (Imagine making a lot of oo ooo oooo noises while flapping ones hands frantically). It was delicious. Problem it it hurts just as much on the way out. Perhaps more as that way just aint used to chilli at all.

Sightseeing in this town is a commitment, the heat here is steamy, the pollution everpresent and it saps the energy from you with every step. Tuk Tuks are a great way to travel, up close and personal, but blasts from diesel exhausts, and the hair raising swerving as they negotiate tracts of manic moving traffic soon have one heading to the quiet luxury of air conditioned taxis.

The river is a welcome respite from the heat catching and chilling on one of the many long boat ferry services. The river is a nasty, thick sort of brown, clogged with water hibiscus floating in large green chunks and other floating detritus, it must me really oxygen starved as evewn the fish spend their time backflipping out of the water in what looks like a frantic attempt to breath... evolution at work methinks.

I attended a local kickboxing match - at Lumpini stadium. Eight bouts of five rounds, with two little thai men really wanting to hurt each other. I met a lovely English girl Marie there, and before long we were both baying for blood, its a violent, violent sport. The two opponents start off a bout with a dance and a little prayer, then get into the biffo. Its nice that they wear gloves, soft padded things, though it seems kind of pointless considering, the feet, the knees and the elbow are used preferentially and deliver a much harder whack! Three knockouts, lots of bruises, and the sounds of the crowd cheering and howling for carnage. Awesome. Can't wait to go back.

The Thai's have a fixation with plastic bags. Meals are served in them, drinks are poured into them, nothing like getting a pad thai to go, with a set of chopsticks in a plastic bag, playing hot potato from hand to hand.

Bangkok has its seedy side, the notorious Patpong district a whirl of neon, ladyboys (gorgeous girls with adams apples...) and obscure sex show. Ping pong balls, razor blades, shooting darts, puffing cigarettes... its eye opening to say the least. Expensive beers and scantily clad 'ladies' offering special massages in the rooms out the back.

I don't think you will ever get bored in this town. And it offers something more, hope for when I get old, and fat, and bald, when I can join the legions of other old, fat, white expats wandering around with their young svelte pretty thai girls in tow. Only in Thailand.